


Right now, I wish you were here with me.

by itsfourinthemorning



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Childhood Friends, Friendship, Multi, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2833919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsfourinthemorning/pseuds/itsfourinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are not supposed to be in love with your best friends, you’re supposed to have their backs and be there when they ramble about cute guys and judge his clothes and over think their actions to see if they’re into them, but Harry is in love with Louis and he can’t do this right now, not at 3 am when it feels like they could talk about anything, included feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right now, I wish you were here with me.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: There is an abusive relationship in this fic.  
> This is a Larry fic so you'll be getting what you want, just, be patient.
> 
> HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! <3

You know that moment when you just never want to stop talking to your friend so you start talking about whatever comes to your mind and suddenly it’s three am and you’re almost dying but you never want to stop talking, it’s three am and you’re talking about the tall, beautiful brown eyed guy in you chemistry class.

You are not supposed to be in love with your best friends, you’re supposed to have their backs and be there when they talk about cute guys and judge his clothes and over think their actions to see if they’re into them, but Harry is in love with Louis and he can’t do this right now, not at 3 am when it feels like they could talk about anything, included feelings.

Louis’s phone buzzed and yes, he was excited, he wanted to start talking more and more about the gorgeous guy in chemistry class to his best mate but Harry had other plans because he said he had his eyes almost closing and that they’ll talk about that guy later, that in this moment they should just sleep. And Louis didn’t sleep because he was busy daydreaming and Harry didn’t sleep because it hurt too much.

 

\--

 

It’s been two weeks and Harry’s phone won’t stop buzzing so he deliberately leaves it on the kitchen, two hours later he hears a knock on his door and jumps out of fear, “Hey dumbarse! You left your phone on the kitchen and it won’t stop playing your stupid ringtone!” it was just his sister, he felt relieved, he knew anyone in the house would’ve just let Louis in, after all, he was his best friend.

 

They have known each other for what it seem ages now. His mom owns a daycare and Louis’s mom works there, so it was practically impossible for both to not meet. Louis’s mom have just started to work there. It was a Thursday, he remembers this because it was the day they gave them ice cream as dessert and Harry loves ice cream. At playtime, Harry was playing alone, not because he was lonely, just because he was playing alone in that moment, he was in the sandbox when this blue eyed boy came near him with a challenge.

\- Hi, I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. I’m 5 years old. What is your name?

\- Hi Louis I’m Harry.

\- Can I play with you?

\- Yes, I’m making mountains.

\- I can do bigger mountains

\- No, I can.

\- Haha are we friends Harry?

\- Yes!

\- Ok!

Harry was only three years old and didn’t knew this kid would be ruin him some years later.

Of course, Louis was out of the daycare before Harry and of course they cried even though their moms explain them over and over that they will still see each other at their houses, just like every weekend since they became friends.

Both of their moms were single moms and they agreed to spent every Saturday together, one Saturday it was in Louis’s house and the other in Harry’s, inevitably both families became one with the years passing.

Louis knew that the bathroom upstairs was bigger than the one downstairs in Harry’s so he always used the one down to make himself feel bigger, he knew where Harry’s mom keep the cookies and always manage to take two to Harry’s bedroom, he knew where would Harry hide when he was sad or angry with anyone, that the bigger pillow in Harry’s bed was the comfiest and he always leave that one to Harry when they did sleepovers and Harry always manage to switch them right before Louis came back from brushing his teeth. Harry knew exactly where to turn in the hall so he didn’t hit his toe with the table as any stranger did when invited to Louis house, he knew that if he kept silent for more than two minutes in the kitchen table Louis’s mom would invite him a cup of tea, that the key to Louis’s bedroom was in his mom nightstand below the book she was reading at the moment and he used it in case he could hear Louis crying because he also knew that when Louis started to cry he would close to door so anyone but Harry could come inside.

 

And it was just like that that Louis came out to Harry. He was 14 and Louis had 16 at the moment, Harry went to see Louis because he wouldn’t pick him up from school as every Thursday when they went for ice cream together as a celebration to the lamest competition in a sandbox ever. But Louis wasn’t there waiting for Harry, and Harry didn’t have missing texts, and he only had a cellphone because his mom was overprotective and because Harry totally agreed to it because Louis was such a normal teenager and Harry was afraid that not texting would push them apart.

Harry was at Louis door, his sister opened it and she was concerned about Harry being there.

\- Isn’t today the day you go for ice cream or something?, she was a 90% percent positive that that was their code to kissing session, but she wasn’t going to ask, and no, they were kids, they were going for ice cream every Thursday, just that.

\- Well, he didn’t came from me, so I guess he’s here. Isn’t he here?, and Harry was scared, having and age gap of two years wasn’t a lot, but even after 11 years of friendship Harry always thought that age gap was going to break the friendship someday, because Louis will always be the one that will go away.

\- I don’t know, I just got here, come in Styles.

So Harry knocked the door and he was about to open it when he realized it was locked, “Lou? I’m Harry. Are you there? Are you with… someone?” they have never talked about crushes, but Louis was 16 and to Harry he was a big boy, and big boys have girlfriends that someday become a mommy and before they knew they will be forcing a friendship between babies going to each other houses every Saturday. Or at least that’s how Harry have planned it. But Louis voice didn’t answer and Harry hear him sobbing, as a reflex, Harry went directly to his mom room and looked for the key, it was there, and he opened the door to find a little Louis sited on the bed with a pillow between his knees and his face. He looked up to see Harry, and Harry could see Louis eyes being red and swollen. He jumped to the bed and sit right across Louis.

\- I heard you crying, what happened Lou?

\- Harry I’m so sorry

\- You have nothing to be sorry about Lou, talk to me

\- Today’s a Thursday. Is our ice cream day and I blew it because I’m a disaster. I’m so sorry H.

\- You don’t have to be. What is happening Louis?

\- Is just that I can’t do this anymore, and I haven’t told you about it because I felt so sick afterwards, not because it was disgusting but because I enjoyed it so much and I didn’t knew I was like this and you’re my best friend and I wanted to talk to you because I feel so sick and all cause I really, really liked it.

\- You’ll have to be more specific Lou, I have no idea what you’re talking about. And I am your best mate, we’re supposed to tell each other everything even the stuff that makes us sick.

\- So it was two months ago, a Friday, and Liam’s parents were away for the weekend and his older cousin said he could fetch us some alcohol so Liam did a little party, the one you couldn’t go to remember?, we were like fifteen or something so it was really exclusive and that was amazing because you know I hate crowds and I have heard of other parties going crazy, but that is because popular people make them. Anyway, we were there and I did drink alcohol but I was really afraid of getting drunk and be the kind of guy that pukes or something so I was very lucid when it happened and that’s why I feel sick, because I enjoyed it and I was sober and now I wish I would have drank more alcohol. And oh Harry.

\- Louis, what happened?

\- It was really late and the plan from the beginning was to stay the night and I have been talking to this guy, he was a friend of Niall from his street or something, he doesn’t go to our school and we were alone in the couch and he wasn’t drinking either and everyone was already sleep and he said something about my hair being perfectly styled, and he complimented my eyes so I told him his were nice too, they were just normal eyes Harry, I can’t believe I lied but I wanted to know what was happening. So I looked everywhere to make sure that everyone was sleeping, and we started whispering and giggling about god knows what. We were sitting close, like, really close to each other and he put a hand in my waist and I jumped a little because you know I’m really ticklish so he removed it and backed away a little but I said to him that he shouldn’t stop, and he placed his hand in my back and pushed me near him until our bodies touch, and he grabbed the back of my head and he didn’t need to push me because I was already leaning and..

There was silence, Louis looked up to see Harry’s face, to find any expression in it, Harry had his eyes really opened but he didn’t had a surprise face, he didn’t seemed angry or disgusted or disappointed he looked attentive like he was recording the whole story to really understand it.

\- And then what Louis?

\- We kissed until we fell asleep in the couch. But the thing is I really enjoyed it Harry, it wasn’t my first kiss, you know that, you know that was from the girl in my gym class, and I’ve been thinking about it and maybe this is why I don’t notice girls, or even talk to them when they’re obviously hitting on me or at least that is what Niall says they’re doing and maybe that’s why I only have guy friends and that’s why we only make this little parties of fifteen people, because we’re kids and we’re confused. And I said it to me today, I walked to the mirror and said “I’m gay” and it felt like two thousand pounds of weight were out my system.

 

Harry wasn’t thinking about how could Louis never talked about that party, he was thinking about how even if he hang out sometimes with Louis friends in little parties like that and in school, he had two friends, female friends that are always talking about cute boys and Harry just listen and then gives his verdict about them, he thought of that one and only time his friends tried to set him out with a girl but Harry wasn’t interested and they never bother again but mostly, he thought about how the thought of being gay also crossed his mind once, just once, when his friends went to the bathroom and this guy called Zayn came to him, they knew each other from the welcome party he has every year for the new ones and Zayn asked Harry out, and he didn’t freaked out, he just said, “I’m so, so sorry Zayn, but I’m not gay” and Zayn just walked away from him. But even after Harry asked himself if he was gay that time, he didn’t care about it too much, he figured out that he was going to marry someone he was in love with, and that the gender of that one was not that important. But this was Louis and he has always being a guy that looked relaxed and confident but was in reality self-conscious about everything he did.

\- Then why are you disgusted Lou?

\- Because, because I don’t want anyone to dislike me, I like my group of friends and I don’t want to feel rejected by them.

\- Well, I love you no matter what Lou. And I don’t care who you like. And if someone says something mean to you between your friends, then you will tell me and I will fight them, except Liam, he’s a big guy, but we will figure out how to make him suffer.

\- Are you serious H?-, a smile was beginning to appear in Louis mouth.

\- Of course Lou, but I doubt it will happen, your guys like you very much as well.

 

Harry didn’t have to fight anyone, cause Louis came out to his friends a week later, and Harry was there ready to hit anyone who dare to say something to Louis, they already knew, and Niall told him that he thought he already missed the coming out and that he had brought his friend to the party as an offering for forgiveness, no one really understood that but he was Niall and Louis just laughed about it. It turned out that out of the 4 friends Louis had, 2 of them were gay, so Louis wasn’t all wrong after all. They all went for pizza afterwards

 

\--

 

Harry was relieve Louis wasn’t the one knocking on his door but he was the one that made his phone a portable vibrator all the afternoon. He couldn’t turn it off because sometimes his mom called him telling he must do the dinner or asking if they need any groceries. But his mom never called and his phone kept buzzing, and in an attempt to silence it he pressed the notification of another message. “now he’ll know I saw them”, and he couldn’t bare thinking about lying to Louis so he started to read them, they weren’t a lot of message, mostly one per hour but his phone kept buzzing telling him about all of them.

“Are you avoiding me?”, “H, what did I did?”, “Is this because I tried to set you up with Perrie?”, “You could have just say no”, “Harry I have so much to talk to you”, “Harry!!!”, “Harry please, this is too much”, “Now I’m certain is not about Perrie”, “I can’t say I’m sorry if I don’t know what I did”, “H please talk to me!!”, “You’re being ridiculous”.

All the text were pretty much the same, an angry, concerned, confused Louis trying to figure out what did he do, why was Harry acting that way and also demanding Harry’s attention because he had to talk to him.

Harry knew exactly what was he going to say. Harry would have answer Louis if he had put a sad emoji next to “I need to talk to you about something” because that will meant everything went wrong.

 

After hearing Louis non-stop talking about Zayn, the gorgeous and also gay guy in his chemistry class everyone agreed to tell him something just to shut him up, and Harry would have agreed to hear Louis talking about Zayn for eternity instead of what happened.

-You could just asking him up Louis-, said Liam

\- What? No! He’s not into me.  
\- Well, we’re in chemistry too, remember? And when you’re not staring at him, he’s staring at you, so I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.

\- Well Liam, maybe he looks at me because he’s concerned about his safety if I look at him as much as you say.

\- I also talked to Perrie.

Harry could feel a dagger going through his stomach when he heard those words, Perrie was Zayn best friend, his confident, his plus one. If anyone knows who Zayn was into, it was Perrie.

-What?! And what did she said?

\- Well she was the one who came to me, asking if you were single, I told her you are gay just to make sure she wasn’t the one interested and she laughed, she said she had a friend way into you. And Perrie is only friend with Zayn so…

\- Liam! How could you keep that to yourself you selfish bastard.

\- Well it did happened this morning Louis! Now, Zayn is, like I said early, already watching you because you aren’t right now, so man up and go ask him for a date. I dare you.

Louis wasn’t good with challenges, he would take them, always. So it wasn’t strange to anyone to see him getting up the table and go to Zayn’s, Harry could feel his stomach getting sick and Eleanor, hold his hand, she knew, she always knew. She also kissed his cheek and told everything was going to be just fine, Sophia smile to both of them.

-So? What did he said?-, asked Niall.

\- Well, we are seeing each other this Thursday after class.

The word Thursday echoed inside Harry’s head, Thursday was their day, Eleanor held his hand tighter and Sophia cleared his smile and gave a concerned look to Eleanor. Harry will after ask himself how they could see it but no one else.

-Perrie did ask about you H, so I suggested a double date. Sorry for not asking, but could you do this for me? It would make things less awkward, we could go for some ice cream.

Harry stood up from the table and walk to the lockers almost running, Eleanor and Sophie went right behind him. Everyone saw that.

 

Harry’s stomach didn’t felt sick anymore, he now felt his heart stuck in his throat and he couldn’t breathe and he was about to cry so he entered a classroom. Eleanor and Sophia came in right after him.

\- How could, how could he do that? He knows I’m not into her, I’m not into anyone, it’s rude to assume something like that, what am I supposed to talk with her, I don’t know anything about her!

\- Harry-, said Eleanor, -you don’t have to go to the date if you don’t want to. Louis did asked you-, while Harry had his hands over his face because he didn’t want his friends to saw he was crying, even if they could hear him, El looked at Sophia asking for backup, Harry was avoiding the thing that trouble him.

\- Maybe-, said Sophia, -you should just tell Louis everything.

Eleanor looked terrified, Sophia went straight to it, sort of.

\- Everything? But, he did say he needed me to go.

\- Yes, everything, about you not going to the date, about him making plans on your Thursday, you guys don’t even make plan with us on a Thursday, about you not wanting him to share ice cream with no one but you, especially on a Thursday…

\- You’re saying Thursday a lot…

\- …you should also say how you would love him to date no one but you.

Eleanor sighed loudly, she didn’t know if she would ever let Sophia handle delicate things again, but first, she was waiting for Harry’s answer.

\- But he doesn’t want me that way, he doesn’t know that I like him, he thinks of me like his best mate, nothing more.

\- You don’t know that.

\- He likes Zayn, we all know that.

\- Infatuations and true love are not the same thing Harry.

 

In the cafeteria Louis was seeing El and Soph going behind Harry and Niall yelled to Louis.

\- Aren’t you going to go after him too?

Zayn was watching.

\- No, he clearly wants to be alone.

\- Well, he happens to be your best mate Louis, best mates don’t care about the other wanting to be alone.

That was true.

-Why don’t you go then? You are clearly more concerned than I, you could see what he has to say and if it’s not about me I’ll go.

\- Are you fucking serious Tomlinson? It clearly is about your stupid Thursday thing!

Louis knew that.

\- Well I’m not going.

\- I’m going to hate you for this.

Niall went behind the girls and heard the whole thing, he came back to the cafeteria with all the answers he didn’t knew he was asking to himself and he realized everything made sense now.

\- So? What was H angry about Ni?

\- Well, as I said, it was the Thursday thing, also, he’s not into Perrie, he already has a crush so you better cancel the double date thing cause he don’t want his crush to know he’s not available

\- A crush? He’s mad about me making a date on a Thursday and he doesn’t tell me about a crush? What kind of best mates are we?

And that was a question Harry asked himself every day.

 

\--

 

“I know you saw the texts H, please answer me”, but Harry wasn’t going to. “Niall told me once that best mates don’t care about if the other doesn’t want to talk so I’m out of your door, and I’m staying here till you come and talk to me”, but Harry didn’t care. “I didn’t brought a sweater”. Harry was over protective and stupid. He was the one always making everyone drinking a glass of water before sleeping at parties with alcohol, he also make sure everyone was sleep on their sides so they wouldn’t die by choking with their own puke, and of course he was the one to come downstairs so Louis didn’t freeze to death, and Louis knew that.

\- Hi

\- Hi Harry, can I come in?

\- Only to the couch.

\- Ok

So they sat in the living room, Harry made Louis sit in the couch and then proceed to take a sit in the arm chair.

\- I wanted to apologize H, but I don’t know what I’m sorry about. So I’m just going to start by telling that I’m sorry I made a date on a Thursday. And I’m sorry I set you up with Perrie when you already have a crush, I should have asked you first. But you never talked about it and now I realize maybe I’m always just talking about me and never asked about you.

\- A crush?

\- Yes, Niall said you have a crush, he went talking to you when you ran off the other day, he told me to cancel your date with Perrie because you already had a crush and that you didn’t want her to think you were dating someone.

\- Her?

\- Or he? Shit I don’t even know that? Are you gay H?

\- No, or yes. I don’t know, I just don’t care.

\- But you have a crush on someone?

\- No, I mean yes.

\- H, you need to start talking to me.  
\- I care about Thursdays and I don’t like Perrie, not like that. No, you are here because you wanted to talk to me.

\- Are you ok with it? Is just that, with you, I can just talk about anything.

\- Sure, spill it out.

\- Well, we did went out that Thursday, and no, I didn’t take him for ice cream. I planned out a picnic in the park and it was so romantic, I had strawberries with chocolate, and sandwiches and I also bought some cider. We held hands on the way home and he didn’t try to kiss me. But he did on Saturday, cause he asked me to go to a party to his house, and it was so crowded, I hated it, but H, he realized about it so he took me to his room and we started talking about the universe and stuff and we kissed and it was so natural, and he kisses so good, I was positive I was melting in his mouth. And I don’t know if you heard about it but we also held hands in school and he has been sitting with us in lunch time, I don’t know if you have seen us because I don’t know where you and the girls have lunch, but I was so afraid that first Monday because even if everyone know I’m gay I was still afraid they would say something but Zayn is so protective and he made me feel so secure. And I’m so happy H.

\- I’m happy for you Louis that sounds delightful

\- I know. So, who is your crush H, maybe now we could go on a double date with someone you’re actually interested in?

\- It was just a quick crush, I don’t have it anymore.

\- But who was it? Did he, sorry, did it hurt you? Should I call Liam to punch it in the face?

\- No, he didn’t do anything. I’m just not interested anymore.

\- Oh! So it was a he? You never cease to amaze me Harry Styles.

\- How is this amazing?

\- Well, I didn’t knew you were into boys too. All the girls at school are already in love with you, let them know you are also into guys and there will be riots. They could kill Soph or El with the eyes when one of them dares to hold your hand Haha.

\- Well, it just kind of happened, I didn’t mean to cause pain in anyone.

\- Oh for fucks sake H, stop thinking about others, be selfish sometimes.

\- Ok

 

Hours later when Louis stopped discussing about how Zayn hair looked breathtaking after a make out session and how it was impossible because Louis messed it up on purpose and that he was already starting an investigation to know if Zayn was actually and alien or maybe a God, he had to go home, and Harry was happy that he didn’t wanted to stay the night. He send a text right when he got to his room.

\- You know? And you told him I had a crush!

\- I guess you talk to him. I was avoiding this conversation. Sorry H.

\- God Ni! I don’t know if I had to thank you.

\- Did you guys worked it out, did you told him?

\- NO but you gave me the excuse to get out.

\- Oh… I was hoping to see you again in lunch, we miss you.

\- You miss Sophia, not me.

\- I was about to ask her on a date mate. But I was scared.

\- She’s already crazy for you, you don’t have to be scared.

\- We do miss you though, and you should tell Louis

\- No I don’t. See you at lunch.

 

\--

 

The months passed and college was right around the corner for the some of the boys and Harry was afraid, afraid and happy, proud. Niall and Sophia made the most adorable couple ever, El had a new boyfriend who was an Irish and Niall loved him because he was able to get better booze to parties than Liam’s cousin. Liam made out with Niall’s friend in a party at his house, the one that kissed Louis, but that was a one-time thing and they were ok and they should be because he was now Liam’s boyfriend. And Louis, Louis and Zayn became one person really quickly, they were inseparable and perfect together. Perrie and Harry were the only ones single and so not ready to mingle.

\- So, what is this Saturday party about Zayn?-, asked Niall

\- Well, it’s just going to be us, we are going to say to which college we’re going and it’s going to be some sort of celebration slash farewell party.

\- But, you’re also making a farewell party right before summer break?

\- Yes but that one is with all the school.

 

It was a Thursday and with Zayn’s blessing it was still ice cream day.

\- Do you want me to ask Zayn to invite someone to the party?

\- What do you mean Lou?

\- Like, someone, someone.

\- Oh, no thanks

\- You really need to be with someone H, if not romantically, at least you should get laid. You can’t just go through school with only the story about you receiving your first kiss from Liam.

After Niall knew, it was only a matter of time before Liam knew everything. So Liam invited Harry to his house one night and they fooled around, mainly for scientific reasons like, Harry learning how to kiss, and learning how to touch a guy. He had something like that with El too, but more theoretical than practical. And of course Liam told everyone they kissed so both could see Louis reaction, or more like the non-existing reaction Louis had, a few days later both said that it was a one-time thing.

\- I’m not interested in stories, Lou.

\- But you have had crushes, how come now you’re not interested in anyone right now?

\- Well I could just wait for the new students next year and wreck some young minds with my sexiness.

\- Yes you could do that.

They both laughed out loud.

 

It was Saturday and Harry was definitely afraid, he wished for Louis and Zayn to go to different colleges, but he also wished Zayn was the one going away, he wished Louis will announce that night that he’s staying. They lived in a big city after all

\- So, how are we going to do this Zayn?

\- Well, we all have a little paper with a number the one that has the number one will step to the front and said to which college he’s going, we will just clap, we will hugged him and shout and then the number two will be the next and you’ll got the idea by now?

Perrie went first, and of course she’s going to France, Perrie would always went big. Zayn was crying like a proud dad. Niall was staying, Soph has been crying the whole week in El and H’s lap and now she was crying but out of happiness, Niall did complained about the salty taste of the kiss she gave him. Liam was going to London with his boyfriend, they have been looking for a flat since they knew, everyone boo them for cheating but they forgave them because finding a place to live was actually important. Then there was Zayn and Louis was a wreck, he didn’t even knew where did Zayn applied but he said to him something like “Great minds think alike, I’m sure we’re going to the same college” and that made a nervous wreck out of Louis. He almost tried to cheat at Zayn’s house to look for a hint, but he couldn’t. He now wished he would have talked to Liam so he could have said to him whatever he said to his boyfriend so they both cheat in the game. Zayn was going to Oxford. Harry could see a tear coming down Louis’s cheek, not a happy one because he instantly wipe it off before congratulating him. Liam did a drum roll when Louis stood up, and Harry said “you can do it” to him without making any sound.

 

Louis did a great job trough school, he managed to have excellent notes, and it’s more difficult to have all the choices than having only few. He could go anywhere he liked, but he was concerned about only one thing while filling out applications, he wanted to be in whatever university his boyfriend was going to be. The night he thought about cheating in the game while Zayn was brushing his teeth in the bathroom he thought that this was a test. It was the test of “how well do you know the love of your life”, Zayn was the one and this was the ultimate test, so he must knew it himself, without cheating. Louis spent a weekend thinking about all the stuff that came out of Zayn’s mouth during the months they have been dating, it was so hard, they looked cute in school and they looked like soulmates, because they are soulmates.

But when they weren’t in school everything was different. Louis was always trying to make Zayn felt loved, he cooked for him even when Zayn said he was a horrible cooker, he gave Zayn blowjobs even when he knew that Zayn was not going to make him finish after, he cope with Zayn falling sleep after coming on Louis back, and Louis would have to masturbate before sleep without making any noise, cause one time Zayn heard him and became furious saying Louis was obviously thinking about someone else if he couldn’t finish with him, then he proceed to fuck Louis until Louis came, Louis couldn’t cried that night because he was afraid of making noises. When the boys asked about the bruises in Louis collarbones, and in his neck he laughed and said they were sex bruises, they weren’t but Louis believed Zayn when he said he will never do it again, and it was Louis fault after all, he was the one getting late to dinner on Zayn’s house on a Thursday, and that was their night after ice cream day with Harry, and Zayn was concerned and Louis didn’t warned him when he knew he would be late cause Harry was laughing so hard, and Louis always get lost in Harry’s laugh.  But those bruises kept coming in Louis body, and her mom was concerned but she was a pain in the ass and Louis said it was nothing to worry about and Louis explained that they were just sex bruises so Harry explained Louis mom that there was nothing to be worried about. Harry believed Louis, Louis mom believed Harry, Louis moved to live with Zayn.

 

Louis gulped before talking, Zayn told him to just say it, and Louis was staying in Cambridge. There was a second of silence, because they all knew that they, the perfect couple, the soulmates, the ones, they didn’t knew about it. As soon as Louis smiled they went all to congratulate him, even Zayn.

\- So, I haven’t seen your room-, said Harry to Louis

Louis still think about it as Zayn’s room, and this was Zayn’s house with Zayn’s furniture and Zayn’s boyfriend.

\- Well, it’s upstairs.

\- Show me then, your little love nest.

\- Love!-, Louis shouted, - I’m going to show H our room.

Our room was a sentence he had never said.

\- Come on Lou this is your house too, you don’t need permission.

They entered to a clean bedroom, the walls were white and the bed was big with black sheets and a black duvet and black pillows, all the other furniture were a very dark grey, there was a poster of batman above the bed, and Harry laughed because he remembered the Lego movie that Louis made him watch.

\- You don’t even like batman.

\- But Zayn does, and this is his room too.

\- Well this is a nice bedroom…

Harry couldn’t said another word before Louis pushed him to the closet door and kissed him. Louis moth was warm and soft, he started to play with Harry’s hair and Harry had his hand on Louis back waist. Louis tongue softly touched Harry upper lip and Harry opened his mouth instantly.

Louis swore he heard a creak from the stairs, he has been training his ears lately so he pushed himself out of Harry and got away from the room, there was no one near the stairs but Louis told Harry they should go down and they did. A few hours later Harry was alone, and he saw things he choose to not see lately. He realized Perrie had no friends there when she went early claiming it was already late and well, she lives two houses away from Zayn’s. He realized El was the kind of girl that only has boy toys, they were already sleep in the carpet, next to each other with the Irish guy pressing El to his body. Soph and Niall should be the perfect couple, they were just chatting in the kitchen with some booze on hand and they looked like best friends. Liam and his boyfriend were talking about houses to Zayn and you could see by the look in their eyes they were excited about the future, they will last, and finally Harry realized about Louis, Louis was hugging his boyfriend being careful not to disturb Zayn’s hand movements and now and then he would try to kiss him only to find Zayn pushing him slyly.

Harry couldn’t be there anymore, they were a whole bunch of streets between Zayn’s and his house but he walked back home.

 

\--

 

\- Why are you always bothering me? Do you like making me angry?

-  Of course not!!

\- Why are you staying in Cambridge then?

\- You said we were both thinking about the same uni…

\- Who stays Louis? Who?

\- Niall is staying

\- Yeah, because he has a girlfriend here. Who are you staying for?

\- No one

\- Is that stupid Styles boy? Are you in love with him or something?

\- No!

\- Well it seem like it, because we have to do everything around him, “Oh Zayn, but Thursday is Harry’s day”, “Oh Zayn, Styles like this table in the cafeteria”, “Oh Zayn, Styles isn’t talking to me can I go to his house?”

\- We’re not like that…

\- Well, he’s in love with you in case you haven’t notice and you are giving him false expectations staying, like the ones you give to me...

\- To you?

\- Being my stupid boyfriend, you let me come in your arse, you cook for me, and you left your stupid mom’s house to come here with me and all for what?

\- I’m staying here because I like Cambridge Uni, we can still be boyfriends, and you could come visit.

\- That’s not going to happen with you and that arse you got, everyone will be dying to fuck you.

\- But I’m yours remember? All yours.

\- No you’re not, not when I’m not around you. You’ll let them fuck you, because you’re a whore, aren’t you? My little whore.

Zayn started to laugh and Louis didn’t knew what to do.

\- I can prove it, I can prove you I’m all yours.

\- Yeah? How are you going to do that whore?

\- Fuck me, right now, no lube, and no condom, just fuck me.

Zayn walked to Louis and move his hand up, Louis closed his eyes and he was ready to receive a punch, but Zayn just grabbed his hair and put his tongue inside Louis mouth, with his other hand he put his zipper down and make it and his underwear go a little bit down to make his hard cock go out of them. While still grabbing Louis hair he pressed his head down till Louis fell on his knees, Zayn put his cock inside Louis mouth instantly, all in. Louis felt a tear and removed it quickly, Zayn was being harsh with him, his head started to hurt. Zayn put his cock out of Louis mouth and told him to put himself stomach down, Zayn pull apart Louis trousers and undies enough for him to see his all arse naked, he could have observed a little the beautiful arse Louis Tomlinson had, but he didn’t, as before he went all in without preparing Louis, without lube, without condom, just as he proposed. Zayn went in and out fast for a few moments till he came inside Louis, he put himself out at that moment and pushed Louis to the floor so he couldn’t get up. Zayn was on top of Louis and got near his ear.

\- You are a whore. I want you out by time I come back.

Zayn got himself up and kicked Louis on his crotch before going through the front door.

 

Louis cried minutes after Zayn left, in case he came back, when Zayn didn’t came back he cried cover in cum and curled in the rug. He went to the bathroom and instantly threw up, he took a shower, and he got himself dress and put some clothes on a bag, not all of them. He cleaned the whole house, it was spotless. He went to the kitchen and cook some quick snacks, he put them in bowls and he labeled them with the days of the week before putting them in the fridge. His phone ringed, it was a text.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t leave the house babe. I love you”, he was never going to leave Zayn, he was his soulmate.

 

Someone knocked on the door and Louis smiled because Zayn was home but he wasn’t expecting to see someone else at the other side of the door.

“Oh Harry! It’s pouring rain, come inside”, Louis had made himself a cup of tea right before the wet boy came knocking on his door so he just gave it to him instead, “Let me grab you a towel, have something happened? Are you ok?”

Harry was determined, so he just said it.

\- I wanted to talk about the other day.

\- Yeah, me too.

\- You do?

\- Yeah Harry, your my best mate, I shouldn’t be taking advantage of that I’m so sorry. It’ll never happen again, it was a mistake.

\- It wasn’t for me

\- What are you talking about?

\- I’m in love with you Lou…

The words echoed inside Louis head. This wasn’t happening.

\- I’m so sorry Harry, but I’m love with Zayn, I could see this coming but I just can’t do it.

\- So it really was mistake then? Because you were the one kissing me.

\- I don’t regret kissing you Harry, I really enjoyed it. But I have a boyfriend and we’re really good together. He’s the one you know?

\- I’m sorry Lou, I can’t do this to myself. I’ve been doing it for years but it just hurts too much.

Louis didn’t stopped Harry when he got up and walked through the door.

 

\--

 

It was going to be a hard summer.

Harry didn’t went to Zayn’s farewell party and he didn’t asked how it was. And no one told him.

Liam and his boyfriend went to London almost as school finished because they needed to sort stuff out there. No one asked Perrie when she was going to France but Harry did put a postcard down her door with a big “Bonne Chance” in the front. Harry hang out with El, Soph and their boyfriends a lot, they went all to night clubs and Harry got one night stands almost every time they went. No one knew what exactly were Louis and Zayn doing. All that Niall knew was that Zayn would stay in Cambridge till school starts.

\- Where is Louis going to live? He will just have the scholarship money.

\- Apparently Zayn is going to keep paying the house

\- Where does he get all the money anyway?

\- His parents are extremely rich.

El then talked about how everything was really green and she started a chat about favorite’s books, she didn’t want Harry to talk about Louis.

 

Louis had been lying on Zayn’s bed for a week, half naked all the time, ready for Zayn anytime. Zayn will take care of the house cleaning and the food the whole summer because he said he was tired of Louis ways and because he will miss his home, he wanted to enjoy his last weeks in it.

Zayn never talks to Louis, except in the morning to remember him to wake up, “It’s 10 am you lazy fuck, wake up!”, and Louis doesn’t want to move.

Louis keeps saying to himself he loves him, he’s his soulmate. Because every time Zayn goes out for groceries, he brings flower to Louis, and that is the cutest detail ever. And he makes elegant dinners on Thursday to remember that that day is their day. He cries and apologizes every time he yells at Louis and it’s been three days since he last punched him. His hand doesn’t hurts as much, but again, it was his fault, Zayn was only trying to make him understand and Louis tried to stop him by grabbing his arm when it was up in the air. Zayn was just trying all the time, and Louis was patient.

 

A ring wok up Harry that Sunday, at first, he didn’t knew where he was but when he looked to his side, he saw the guy who was grinding his arse last night at the club and he remembered.

\- Hello?

\- Harry? I’m Louis mom.

\- Hi, is everything okay? What happened?

\- I don’t know, Louis hasn’t called since school finished and I tried to talk to him yesterday and he told me to fuck off. Do you know if he’s fine?

\- We’re not speaking to each other but I’m sure he’s fine. Zayn loves him, he loves Zayn.

\- I’m sorry Harry, but could you check on him. You’re his best friend.

\- Ok, I’ll do it…

The guy next to him rolled over to kiss Harry’s back, and he really wanted to stay but he excused himself, asked for his number, and name… and got out of there. As he walked to Louis’s house, he put out his phone and start to call Louis.

\- Hello? Louis?

\- No, Harry, this is Zayn.

\- Hi Zayn, is Louis with you?

\- You didn’t came to my party Styles, I was pretty offended.

\- Sorry, can you put Louis on the phone

\- I’m his boyfriend, I know he’s not talking to you, what did you do? Tell him you love him? Yeah, we all knew. Did he rejected you and was so disgusted by your feelings that he decided not to talk to you ever again?

\- I just want to talk to him, please.

\- He isn’t here with me.

 

Harry was just a few steps away from Louis house and Zayn’s car wasn’t parked. He could just walk away, he didn’t care anymore. But he made a promise to his mom so he would just see if he was still alive and go home and tell her everything was just fine.

He rang the bell three times before realizing the door wasn’t locked, so he let himself in. He went to the kitchen, the living room but no one was there, when he climbed the first step on the stairs and the wood made a sound Harry heard something move really quickly, he moved faster and open the door in the master bedroom.

Zayn’s room wasn’t like the last time, it wasn’t clean, there were clothes and condoms everywhere, some blood on the rug, he looked at the bed and found a really tiny and scared Louis curled up in the middle, the bed was a mess, the pillows were in the floor and Harry was terrified.

\- Louis?

\- Harry? What are you doing here, you need to get out of here.

\- I’m not going anywhere without you

\- I’m not leaving Zayn, I know this doesn’t look good, but he’s nice, he loves me and we’re really in love, love can cure everything, but you need to get the fuck out of here, please.

\- No Lou, Zayn doesn’t love you, this isn’t love, what happened to you face, and God! Is your hand broken?

\- It’s healing, please, Harry, get out of here.

Harry did get out of there with a tiny little wrecked Louis punching his back as hard as he could while being carried away from there.

Harry took a cab when he was far enough from Zayn’s house, they went to the hospital, Harry called Louis mom. The room is full. Liam was there, and Niall, Eleanor, Sophia, Harry’s sister, his mom, Louis mom, Louis’s sister and Harry. Harry is right next to his bed grabbing his hand as if they were in a romantic movie.

 

It was a hard summer.

Louis spent a week in urgencies and then he was transferred to the psychiatry room because her mom asked the hospital to keep him hold, no one wanted him to try to look up for Zayn, Louis talked about everything to the therapist and even if in his eyes everything was okay, his therapist and his friends make him realize love is not like that. Love was your friends telling you to man up for the guy you like, love was you friends and family tell you there’s nothing wrong about being gay, love was sharing and ice cream with your best mate, love was your mom calling you every day, love was your friend’s mom letting you stay every Saturday at their house, love was being carried away from danger even when you didn’t want it, love was your best friend holding your hand in the hospital.

And with real love, Louis pressed charges against Zayn, because none of the injuries where lethal, and because Zayn parents were really rich Zayn could go to Oxford with his record clean, but Louis did get a restriction order, and Zayn parents told him he should never came back to Cambridge unless he wanted his money removed, they also offer to pay for Louis degree, he rejected this.

 

It was a hard summer.

But Harry was there with Louis the whole time, and Louis went to uni every day and Harry went to school and every Thursday Louis was in his car outside Harry’s school to pick him up for ice cream.

 

\--

 

Harry is starting college in a week and its Thursday so Louis is outside Harry’s house. They are now in the ice cream shop near the park, that it’s their favorite ice cream shop and Harry choose that one today with a purpose.

\- A long time ago in a sandbox far, far away...

\- What are you doing?

\- …you asked a boy if you were friends with him.

\- I know that

\- Shht Tomlinson, I’m trying to make a point here.

\- Then make it Styles.

\- Now the same boy is going to ask you something, will you, Louis Tomlinson honor me by being my boyfriend?

\- I thought you’ll never ask.

 

It’s been 5 years now, Harry and Louis have their own flat and it’s Christmas Eve.

\- It would be simpler if you just put the beer down Niall-, said Liam while trying to make Niall to take some pictures of him and his boyfriend near the tree.

\- Never, my dear Liam, I’m a total pro with this, I’m majoring in photography don’t you remember?

\- I wish I didn’t remembered it when I asked you to do this.

El and Soph where laughing at them while chatting on the couch.

\- Dinner’s ready-, shouted Harry from across the dining room, everyone sat on the table.

\- Since everyone brought something to the table, I made the smashed potatoes-, said Louis

\- Isn’t Harry the one with the culinary major?-, asked Niall

\- Gosh Niall-, said Harry from behind Louis with a turkey on his hands, - I bet they’re delicious love-

After eating, laughing and sometimes sing. Everyone went to the living room to play Secret Santa.

El’s boyfriend got a beer jar from Niall, El got a leather jacket from Harry, Soph got a frame with his boyfriend face from Liam, Liam’s boyfriend got a scarf from Soph, Liam got a frame with Niall’s face from El, Niall got a beer jar from El’s boyfriend, Louis got a set of professional hair brushes from Liam’s boyfriend. Everyone was laughing.

And then Harry.

Harry got a little box in his hands.

\- This isn’t fair, I’m the last one and I know from who is it.

\- Well, opened it babe.

Inside the little red box with the big green bow was a little black velvet box. And Harry lost his breath.

\- A long time ago, in a bed far, far away…

\- You’re copying me.

\- Shht Styles, I’m trying to make a point.

\- Then make it.

\- You found a boy clinging to a pillow, and you told him you’ll love him no matter what.

\- I did.

\- So now that boy is asking, will you marry me Harry Styles?

\- Yes!

\- Ok!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [tumblr](http://aroundfour.tumblr.com/) :)


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